Kicked in the "flin-flarn" head

So, as my readership knows, my wife is in her 38th week of pregancy out of an expected 40 - in other words, any day now. One of the things brought on by pregnancy is an increase in charley horses. Well, this became an issue in the middle of a deep sleep the other night. Understand, we've had the humidifier on in the bedroom so we've been closing the door. We sleep on the lower level in our house so if it's dark and the lights are off, you can't see your hand in front of your face.

I awaken to my wife yelping and crying at Oh-dark-thirty in the morning, cuz' you know, I think it's time (normally I'm a much sounder sleeper.) I ask her what's going on and she alerts me to the charley horse she's experiencing in her left leg. Calmer now, realizing that I don't have to actually get out of bed, the half-sleep takes control as I tell her I'll rub her calf like a good hubby. Hmm. It was obvious that my wife wasn't fully awake either because it didn't cross her mind that I had no shot of seeing or knowing that she was going to go ahead and swing her leg up to my "supposedly" waiting arms. While she's scissor kicking up, I'm reaching over and WHAM! I get kicked right in the mouth.

So I fall back howling grabbing my face and her crying goes off the charts. "Iiiiii'mmm ssssooorr-orrr-eee, YEOW, MY LEG!!!!" Luckily the stun of the moment was only temporary. I had her put her leg down and I went ahead and took care of massaging out the cramp. I also informed her that the next time she got a leg cramp in the middle of the night, to keep her legs on the bed where I could find them. All in all, I got out of it with a slightly split lip and a great story.