Oh, was that the Olympics?

(Disclaimer: I normally add picture links, but I'm so far behind, I need to just get some stinking blogs out, you know? On that note...)

From what I understand, ratings for the Winter Olympics were down again in the U.S. and no one seems to know why. Really? You don't know why people aren't watching the Winter Olympics? Hmm, on your way to work, how many parks do you pass where people are just luging away? Are there many ski jump hills near your house? I'm going to take a wild stab and say that no, no there are not. To me, more than anything else, the winter Games are an observation of sports of priveledge. Honestly, I didn't even know four Americans could tell me how to score in curling, better yet compete for a medal. Really though, look at the difference between the Summer Olympics and the Winter Olympics. Track & field, basketball, baseball, swimming, diving - you can do all this without having to have a dollar. They're basic sports anyone can participate in, and become a fan of. Bobsled, luge, and ice dancing are not. People actually watch the track & field and swimming trials to even get to the Olympics in this Country. I only see curling during the two week span of the winter Games. I don't even know how you get involved with a bobsled team.

Well, at least the U.S. managed to bag a big medal total. However, all I heard about was how disappointing an Olympics this was because we didn't do as well as was expected. Okay, we got what, the second biggest medal total in the winter Games ever? Who cares if Sasha Cohen didn't get a gold medal? He's funny enough doing the "Borat" gimmick. Besides, I didn't even know he could skate. Oh, not that Sasha Cohen? My bad.

Regardless, we had some classic U.S. moments - the skiboarding chick that hot-dogged it and lost because of it, Bode Miller (whose name is nowhere near as cool as Picabo Street, btw) fulfilling his "all talk and no action" requirement by not medaling at all, Shanni Davis failing to grasp the value of his accomplishment because being a jerk was more his style, and Apollo Anton Anti Aircraft Abracadabra Alcatraz Alabastar Ohno coming off as the "American Sweetheart" hero. Wow, can't wait till Vancouver in 2010. I'll see you on the curling lanes ...

More from the Auto Show (part II of a series)

If you can read the words in that picture, congratulations - you have proven yourself infinitely smarter than about 3/4 of the Auto Show crowd. I have to honestly say that I believe that when we wring our hands over diminishing resources and cry foul over the 'peak oil' situation (sham) we are really missing the most vital diminishing resource in our cries - the overwhelming lack of common sense of human beings.

Let me expound: If you're at an Auto Show in the midst of, literally hundreds of thousands of people, and nobody is currently in the front seat, the back seat or wildly blaring the radio of the $135K Hummer H1, chances are the doors are locked.

If you just watched two other people try to open the doors to the $75K BMW M5 to no avail, (big hint coming up) there's an tremendous shot that you do not have the magic touch.

If you walk up to any of the number of vehicles and they have the red sticker posted above plastered on the DRIVER SIDE WINDOW of the door you are about to tug on - count on the sticker information to be spot on.

Honestly, it was like watching a multitude of Forrest Gumps. Someone walks up to a gorgeous vehicle that is miraculously empty, tugs the door handle once, twice, and usually a third time before realizing that it won't open. And right behind them comes another Gump-ite running up to do the exact same thing.

Some other pieces of information for Auto Show goers past/present/and future:

-If the sign for the car you're looking at has the word "concept" in it all, you are a moron if you ask how much it's going to cost. The potential price tag is about as conceptual as the car itself. If the vehicle you're looking at has funky shaped seats, a shifter that could feasibly take the car to warp speed, video cameras for side mirrors, a gun turret, an interior comprised of mostly wood, and/or a full chrome paint job, chances are that it is a concept vehicle.

-The lady on the turntable telling you about the Chrysler Imperial is not going to go home from the show with you. Now if your name is Brian Urlacher, that might be a different story, but if your name is Lee Hotti, you can forget about it. While it's true that the giant rocks many of them sport on their ring finger is there to ward off unwanted suitors, you have an easier time getting a stripper to come home with you without the promise of coke. The ladies who work these events that are single are interested in the guy that has access to the Ferrari/Maserati stand, not the guy in the oversized velour jumpsuit piling into the Kia Rio with all his boys, readjusting the seats and mirrors so he can feel like a "baller."

-Last but not least - either get a babysitter or bring extra adults. Some of us actually look at the cars because we have the ability to buy one in the next 10 years. Hey, when I was 5 I thought the Auto Show was cool too, but I went with both parents and no other kids. When I'm 29 and have to wait for you and each of your midget army to get in the front seat and play grown-up, it gets a little old.

More pictures and in-depth vehicle info coming soon.

The Auto Show is Here!!! (Part one of a multi-part series)

Anyone that knows me (and frankly, if you're reading this and you don't know me - what are you doing here? How did you find me?) knows that I am a car fanatic. I couldn't fix one to save my life, but I know the difference between horsepower and torque, why RWD is better than FWD, who makes the Vectra (Opel,) how many current rebadges of the Trailblazer exist and why GM's corporate strategy stinks. In other words, everything but how to fix them. Anyway, last weekend the Chicago Auto Show returned to town and yours truly became a giddy school boy again.

The Auto Show to me, is a "hope-springs-eternal" event. Yes, transportation to some people can be very basic - they generally drive Impala's and Ford Five-Hundred's, but to others, the vehicle they travel in is an extension of themselves; a statement or identity if you will. I see the Auto Show as the continued quest for the perfect car. What's great is that, because there are new technical innovations year in and year out, and new cars are brought to market at different times, their are endless possibilities to see the perfect car brought to market. The thing is, I don't know if the perfect car is possible. A car's look is either to plain or too avant garde. The ride is either too soft or too bumpy. The ergonomics are either too inviting or too space age. Pick up MotorTrend Magazine- they seem to find 3 "highs" and 3 "lows" for every car they review. Still, there are always cars that come close. The Chrysler 300 was one a couple of years ago. The 6 series BMW was polarizing but another candidate. The G35 Coupe still gets stares.

Realizing I have few different topics I'd like to discuss about the Auto Show, I think I'll multi-part this out, and maybe add some key pics throughout the week. So you understand the depths of my depravity, I was at show on Saturday (the first day open to the public of course) and spent 6 hours just covering the lower end models. Stay tuned.

Holy Crap I've Got A Kid!!!

So, I haven't updated this blog in quite a bit. People get busy, ya' know? Anyway, with a readership of like, 4 I don't think I'm disappointing anyone too much. Regardless, the main reason I haven't updated in a while is because I HAD A KID! Yep, the guy who can't grow hair on his own head has had a child. Well, I didn't birth the little bundle of joy myself, that credit goes to the wife, but I helped in the production department, so I get to call her mine. Angela Elizabeth (Ella for short) was born on January 25th at 1:16 am. She weighed 7.5lb and was 19.5 inches long, fully healthy and home with Mom right now. Being a new Dad is pretty humbling as now all of my decisions take that premise into consideration. I know everyone says it, but everything to my driving style to how often I call home has changed. Of course my sleep cycle has changed a bit also, but if you know me, I'm not a big sleeper so I'm not really losing any sleep. I do sleep a lot lighter than I did in the past.

Leading up to the due date, people kept asking me if I was nervous. Honestly, I was more nervous in that 5 minute span waiting to see if the wand would have a negative line or positive lines about 7 months ago. I was extremely calm ... that is, until they told my wife she could start pushing. It was kind of like that feeling you get when you're going into the boss' office for a performance review and you really don't know whether you're going to get a raise or get fired. Because honestly, until the kid comes out, they can't tell you if all the fingers are there, they can't tell you if she's going to grow teeth out of her nose, they can't tell you whether she'll keep breathing once she's out, they can't even tell you that they're 100% sure it's a she. So, I got a little touch of nervousness there, but I prayed with my wife and we found strength.

The Mrs. was amazing during delivery. I forewarned her that I fully expected to be cursed out in the delivery room. I mean, that's the story you always hear, right? Guys always talk about their wives punching them or degrading them or telling them they hate them or something like that. Well, my wife told me she wouldn't because she would be focused, and you know what? She was right. Maybe the epidural helped with that but she didn't curse or tell me she hated me so I really don't care what the reason was. She just stared straight forward and got the job done. Total delivery time (from when she started pushing to birth) was less than an hour. I will say this, I will take my wife in a fight over any woman who has not had kids because if you can handle that, taking a shot or two to the jaw is a cinch.

So I'm a Dad now. The kid only seems to cry when she's hungry and occassionally when she's getting her diaper changed. Other than that, she just wants to check out the scenery and relax. Fun times ahead boys and girls, fun times ahead.