If you can read the words in that picture, congratulations - you have proven yourself infinitely smarter than about 3/4 of the Auto Show crowd. I have to honestly say that I believe that when we wring our hands over diminishing resources and cry foul over the 'peak oil' situation (sham) we are really missing the most vital diminishing resource in our cries - the overwhelming lack of common sense of human beings.
Let me expound: If you're at an Auto Show in the midst of, literally hundreds of thousands of people, and nobody is currently in the front seat, the back seat or wildly blaring the radio of the $135K Hummer H1, chances are the doors are locked.
If you just watched two other people try to open the doors to the $75K BMW M5 to no avail, (big hint coming up) there's an tremendous shot that you do not have the magic touch.
If you walk up to any of the number of vehicles and they have the red sticker posted above plastered on the DRIVER SIDE WINDOW of the door you are about to tug on - count on the sticker information to be spot on.
Honestly, it was like watching a multitude of Forrest Gumps. Someone walks up to a gorgeous vehicle that is miraculously empty, tugs the door handle once, twice, and usually a third time before realizing that it won't open. And right behind them comes another Gump-ite running up to do the exact same thing.
Some other pieces of information for Auto Show goers past/present/and future:
-If the sign for the car you're looking at has the word "concept" in it all, you are a moron if you ask how much it's going to cost. The potential price tag is about as conceptual as the car itself. If the vehicle you're looking at has funky shaped seats, a shifter that could feasibly take the car to warp speed, video cameras for side mirrors, a gun turret, an interior comprised of mostly wood, and/or a full chrome paint job, chances are that it is a concept vehicle.
-The lady on the turntable telling you about the Chrysler Imperial is not going to go home from the show with you. Now if your name is Brian Urlacher, that might be a different story, but if your name is Lee Hotti, you can forget about it. While it's true that the giant rocks many of them sport on their ring finger is there to ward off unwanted suitors, you have an easier time getting a stripper to come home with you without the promise of coke. The ladies who work these events that are single are interested in the guy that has access to the Ferrari/Maserati stand, not the guy in the oversized velour jumpsuit piling into the Kia Rio with all his boys, readjusting the seats and mirrors so he can feel like a "baller."
-Last but not least - either get a babysitter or bring extra adults. Some of us actually look at the cars because we have the ability to buy one in the next 10 years. Hey, when I was 5 I thought the Auto Show was cool too, but I went with both parents and no other kids. When I'm 29 and have to wait for you and each of your midget army to get in the front seat and play grown-up, it gets a little old.
More pictures and in-depth vehicle info coming soon.
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